For the longest time now, I have felt like Jimmy was one in 150. It's the statistic, it's the norm now. I figured I probably knew more autistic kids by benefit of being a parent of one - people who we met through autism rather than people we had know having kids with it. Today, that all changed.
We got a Christmas card from a couple we have know for years - someone my husband worked with in the comics industry. Taking you back... he, an incredible creative individual in many ways, got engaged and married this wonderful woman. We hung out a bit, until we started having kids. Then it got a little harder. I think as Jimmy's problems became more obvious, we both started to shut people we had known in the past. I had my friends from Mason, women who having been walking this road with me since the day autism entered my vocabulary. The husband has been sort of walking alone. Both of us found our paths easier than constantly having to explain or apologize for what has happened with our son. I will freely admit that I have shut my own family out to some degree, just because it hurts too much to have explain or defend or justify.
At any rate, eventually they moved away and we didn't stay in touch. In part for the reasons above, but also because regular old life has kept us extremely busy. Today, their family Christmas letter revealed that their son had recently gotten a spectrum diagnosis. The husband is crushed, but I am just shocked. I think maybe we collectively have 50 people that we consider friends between the two of us. Relationships are hard to maintain in adulthood in the best of circumstances. These are the people who we manage and even work at staying in touch with, even if we don't get to see them the way we would like or should. People he knew from his store, people I knew from grad school or my job, people we know now. Of those 50 people, not one had a child with autism or anywhere on the spectrum, save us. Until now.
By my estimation, that isn't 1 in 150. That's 1 in 100. The activist in me would really like to know how many kids it takes to make autism a national emergency, so people are motivated to find a cause, a treatment, and a cure. So kids like mine can speak and interact and live a more normal life. So families don't feel like they have to hide or apologize because their child doesn't act like his or her peers. How many kids and how many families have to suffer before the rest of the world cares or acts? Or does it have to strike everyone's inner circle first?
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