It shouldn't be a shock. He's a politician, right? And he honestly sees nothing wrong with what he has said: he was only referring to woman who have had abortions being more likely to have children with disabilities. From Insidenova.com:
“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically,” Marshall said at the news conference. “Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children."
When I called his office yesterday, their defense was that he didn't what was initially reported, that he had essentially said that increase in children with disabilities was God's punishment for abortion. So since he didn't say that, that makes this all okay, seemingly to what he is putting out to the media.
None of this okay.
I will explain why. When you have a child with a disability, everyone asks the same questions of the mother, whether they are a complete stranger or a close relative. What did you do? Did you remember to take your prenatal vitamins? Did you have too many sonograms? Did you take medication you shouldn't have? Is it in your family? (And they never ask if it in his...) Did you drink? Did you smoke? Did you take drugs? Even within my own disability community, there is the blame game - did you give him vaccines? That theory was out there when Jimmy was a baby and I chose to do it anyway. I have never thought that it caused his autism, but the looks that you get sometimes... from people in your own community, other parents who's kids have autism, like we had more information and we did this to our kids anyway. It is so upsetting.... I digress.
Ultimately, it all goes to the same thing. What did you do to make your baby this way? These these things can't just happen. They don't just happen. If they just happened, you would have to acknowledge on some level it could happen to you. If you are blessed enough to have happy, healthy children, often that is the last thing you want to have to accept. It is easier to blame us.
Bob Marshall has now added one more thing to the list. Congrats moms of disabled kids everywhere, we get to be asked if we have had abortions in the past. Trust me, it will happen. And if we aren't asked often, only slightly more often will people think it. You think I am kidding. I have been asked every question under the sun. Asked if I took my vitamins. Asked if I drank too much diet soda. Asked if I drank too much regular soda. Coffee. Alcohol. Drugs. Ate feta, sushi, salmon or anything else on the don't list for pregnant women. I have been asked about my gynecological health by a pregnant mom who saw me with Jimmy and was worried about autism. She tried to get personal before I shot her down for being rude. I am all for educating, but it was ridiculous. Someone will ask me, thanks to Bob Marshall, if I had an abortion. And more will think it... just as often think about "What's wrong with that kid? How'd that happen?" when Jimmy lays down in the middle of Target kicking and screaming, staring at him like he is a freak show, as if he isn't a person.
Because of what Bob Marshall said, the way he said it - that may not have been his intent to throw every last woman who has given birth to a child with a disability under the bus of abortion, that was the net effect. This world that we live in is about people staring and pointing at us and our children. There but for the grace of God... Whether it is to assure themselves (falsely) that it could never happen to them or to make them feel superior, life is the point and stare. And Bob Marshall has slapped a scarlet A on us and, with the gracious help of the media, shined a spotlight on us and our children and told them where to point. You can't get much more cruel than that, intentional or not. His apology to date doesn't cut it. Not by a long shot.
....One more thing...
Gov. McDonnell, before saying this:
“They were wrong and offensive comments and we should do everything we can for young children who are disabled and provide the best safety net we can,“ said McDonnell, a former delegate from Virginia Beach who has known Marshall for many years.
You might want to remember that you just said in your budget proposals that you want purge the EDCD waivers by 50%, which is serving many of those children that you are referring to in your quote. Including mine. Get rid of consumer directed hiring of attendants and respite providers, used mostly with children and go back to agencies, which mostly serve seniors. What safety net? I don't think there is any safety net or intention of serving our kids in your budget proposal. Which side of 50% is Jimmy sitting on? I would like to know, because you and the General Assembly are putting families with special needs through absolute Hell right now. Mine included. Delegate Marshall has only added to our pain.
9 comments:
Thank you for posting this. As a mother who has disabilities and two children with cognitive and emotional disabilities, I have been truly distressed by this incident.
I also want to bring up the full quote, as noted in the Gainesville Times:
“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.
“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”
There is no doubt about it–he is “suggesting” women are punished with disabled children. Look at the juxtaposition of the words he used.
Here is something even more disappointing: ARC has absolved Marshall of this. I got a notice that they were going to 'take him at his word' that he didn't mean children were punishments. I have lost respect for them and believe they have sold out for political reasons. If anyone should be sticking up for the disabled, it should be organizations like ARC.
I hadn't heard this about ARC. Do you have a link?
I guess I feel like they are talking from both sides of their mouths in some ways. With the evidence out there, how can you take Marshall at his word? Here is the email:
The Arc of Virginia:
Families Outraged By Delegate Robert Marshall’s Remarks
The Arc of Virginia is surprised and disappointed by remarks attributed to Delegate Robert Marshall indicating he believes children with disabilities were "God's punishment." Such unfortunate remarks continue to lend credence to the stigma people with disabilities and their families are fighting to overcome.
Since this issue went public today, many family members who heard the audio remarks have contacted The Arc to express their outrage over Delegate Marshall’s statements. Delegate Marshall has issued an apology saying he “regrets any misimpression my poorly chosen words may have created as to my deep commitment to fighting for these vulnerable children and their families.” The Arc takes him at his word.
Mr. Howard Cullum, President of The Arc of Virginia said, “Many of our families are struggling with the 24/7 care taking demands. It is rewarding but hard work. Families don’t appreciate statements that can be construed to connect having a disabled child with some religious punishment. Our families don’t need the grief or the guilt”.
According to Mr. Cullum, “The Arc families are especially sensitive now because of proposed state budget cuts to critical services that support persons with intellectual or developmental disabilities. The Arc appreciates yesterday’s House and Senate budget reports that seek to restore some of the services. However, the important waiver program is still slated to lose 1,134 waiver slots that were scheduled to begin reducing the long wait lists. Our wait list families are in pain and crisis.”
The waiver wait list is now over 6,000 persons and growing rapidly. The lack of waivers means families will now have to wait at least another two years before any new waiver slots are available. Some families have already been waiting for years. The safety net for our families is in tatters.
Historically, Virginia's track record for valuing the lives of people with disabilities has not been good. The Commonwealth was notorious for its history of involuntary sterilization, for its state-sponsored segregation and institutionalization and for its minimal help for families. Even today, Virginia is currently ranked 46th in the country for its community support of people with developmental disabilities and their families.
At a time when the majority of states are moving people with intellectual disabilities out of institutions, Virginia is the only state seeking to rebuild costly, segregated state institutions for people with intellectual disabilities. The Arc is hopeful that Delegate Marshall’s comments, however offensive to our families, draw public attention to the plight of families caring for persons with disabilities in our state.
Here is the link: http://www.arcofva.org/docs/release_022210.pdf
Thanks Katherine.
I am wondering how long it will take before someone asks me if Jimmy was the result of a prior abortion. Truly, I have been asked everything else under the sun.
Before you throw Marshal under the bus, remember he was one of the few that politically pioneered the idea of insurance coverage for ASD. There is no one to pick up the banner after you run him over with the bus.
http://www.martinsvillebulletin.com/article.cfm?ID=17655
I didn't mention the resignation petition Chuck - I didn't sign it. I haven't run him down with the bus yet. I recognize what he has done with autism insurance mandates and even spoken with him at some length before about it. I do appreciate it and have been quite vocal publicly about it. I wish he had the capital in his own party to be able to get something done with it, but in Richmond, the lobbyists really own both parties (see Saslaw.) Probably why I am taking this so personally.
Judging from your name, you aren't likely looking at this from the same point of view that I am. When Jimmy was in ECSE, I had this really rude boss who once sat me down in her office and asked what I had done while I was pregnant to make Jimmy the way he was. Actually asked me that way. I was shocked. Now, I have just had the Scarlet A hung on myself and my son (along with every other woman with a womb and the rest of her healthy plumbing and a child with a disability) and I have to hope and pray that I don't encounter someone as equally ignorant and rude in the future, but knowing it is more likely that I will. It sucks, it hurts, and it is more than I want to deal with from anyone, whether it is a stranger or someone I know.
“Now, I have just had the Scarlet A hung on myself and my son”
I never inferred that you were Hester Prynne. I can also find as many causation studies implicating it is the man’s fault as there are implicating it is the woman’s fault. Also remember, the vast majority of proven genetic disorders are due to the male’s DNA, not the females.
Adultery, Abortion... lots of A's to slap on the ladies! *Rolls eyes*
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