The Companionship of Depression

I don't know a parent of an autistic child who isn't afflicted with some measure of depression.  It seems to be a natural companion on this road.  No matter how good your humor is, there is always what the sadness of might have been or the paralyzing fear of what lies ahead.  For the last few months, I have found it to be crippling.  I am past mourning, but good Lord, I don't know where we are going or what Jimmy's future holds.  I keep thinking about that there are people in the world who don't think should exist because he is a burden or that he shouldn't be educated... everything is negative.  And it shouldn't be.  Intellectually, I know that.  Emotionally... I am just looking for the light again and it seems so far away.