Okay, so I went. My friend was willing to come help me with the kids couldn't get away, so I decided to go solo. Big mistake. I got there first thing, to ensure that I would get the first spot - get in, get out, get done. Unfortunately, Jacob was done before the meeting got started. We had waited for 40 minutes and he was just tearing around the place. I had Jimmy in the stroller and some sweet man restraining Jacob while I attempted to speak. It was overwhelming - fortunately, I had handouts.
The truth is my life is equal parts Heaven and Hell. I have a beautiful child who can't speak. I can take him out, but sometimes he gets overwhelmed by it. I can't really leave him with a babysitter because no 16 year old is equipped to deal with a child who likes to play in his own poo. I work and I raise both my sons, but every decision that I make is defined by Jimmy. It isn't a fair way to live sometimes.
I want him to have every opportunity to have a real life and make a small contribution in the world. That's why I go to these things, that's why I ask for help. He needs a chance. We need a chance. I never express well enough how much I love this child. The experience of raising him, as difficult as it is, is an incredible blessing. Of course, that's when my house is clean, I have enough sleep, and I am not scrubbing his poo of the wall.
Now, what to do about Jacob... He's a good boy most of the time. I apologize to those who were at the townhall tonight. I didn't have a choice but to bring him. Sorry.
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