Thursday, September 18, 2008

And... aunt has cancer.   

No black cloud.  It is freaking raining now.

But it isn't raining hard.  They caught my aunt's cancer early.  She should recover nicely with chemo.  And, hey, maybe I have an excuse to go to Vegas in the relatively near future.  She works at a casino and I have learned blackjack - I smell opportunity!  Also, I had a great day at work.  There are a couple of women where I work who have such amazing wit and humor, it can turn the worst mood around.

I shoulder a lot.  I do.  All moms do.  Yet we continue to get out of bed every morning.  I love my life.  I love my family.  I love my work.  I love my friends.  Almost any day, inspite of what I post here sometimes, I will tell you I am one of the most fortunate people I know.  Fortune being different than luck, you know.  When I was in my twenties, I would take to my bed for three weeks when a guy broke up with me.  Seriously - took sick leave, didn't go to work.  When I had a problem, I would ignore it rather than face it.  If I could go back 12 or 13 years, I would slap myself over the sheer stupidity of it all.  Wherever I looked, there were dark clouds and nothing else.  

I have felt like that the past few days too.  Mercifully, I have grown enough to realize two things.  Given time and a little work, things do get better.  Getting to better isn't always easy, but it is a worthy destination.  And those dark clouds more often than not have silver linings and those can be their own gift, a reward for seeing things through, rather than some sort of consolation prize.

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