No black cloud. It is freaking raining now.
But it isn't raining hard. They caught my aunt's cancer early. She should recover nicely with chemo. And, hey, maybe I have an excuse to go to Vegas in the relatively near future. She works at a casino and I have learned blackjack - I smell opportunity! Also, I had a great day at work. There are a couple of women where I work who have such amazing wit and humor, it can turn the worst mood around.
I shoulder a lot. I do. All moms do. Yet we continue to get out of bed every morning. I love my life. I love my family. I love my work. I love my friends. Almost any day, inspite of what I post here sometimes, I will tell you I am one of the most fortunate people I know. Fortune being different than luck, you know. When I was in my twenties, I would take to my bed for three weeks when a guy broke up with me. Seriously - took sick leave, didn't go to work. When I had a problem, I would ignore it rather than face it. If I could go back 12 or 13 years, I would slap myself over the sheer stupidity of it all. Wherever I looked, there were dark clouds and nothing else.
I have felt like that the past few days too. Mercifully, I have grown enough to realize two things. Given time and a little work, things do get better. Getting to better isn't always easy, but it is a worthy destination. And those dark clouds more often than not have silver linings and those can be their own gift, a reward for seeing things through, rather than some sort of consolation prize.