More photos

Birthday Photos

They are coming shortly... Blogger is giving me grief today.

Kiss My...

...arm. Jimmy just walked up and kissed his brother on the cheek. Then he turned and kissed my arm. It was so sweet. It's the little things that just feel so huge at times.

New Daycare

Well, hopefully by next Monday, the boys will be starting a new daycare, Childtime. I don't think I have filled out this much paperwork since getting a mortgage. As an accomodation to the toileting issue, they will have him in the twos with his brother, but he will be taken to the bathroom every hour. It's all I wanted. Age appropriate activities will be delivered to him and he will have the opportunity to interact with his peers, but the twos will be his base until he is done training. On paper at least, it is a better situation than we had. It is also a relief that the matter is finally settled.

We had Jimmy's check up yesterday. He is 42 inches tall and 38 pounds - a skinny boy, but healthy. I can't believe he is really five years old. His party is on Saturday and we are all very excited. He is just such a great kid. I am so proud of him.

Happy Birthday Jimmy!!!!

I can't believe it's been five years. More tomorrow.

Small Successes

Jimmy peed in the toilet today. I think it's only the second time in about two weeks of training, but I will take it. It will get better... I would be so happy if he had it down by Christmas. I know Jacob will. I think he will be done training by his birthday. He gets it, he really does. Jimmy does too - it's not something he wants to do right now.

Cure Autism Now Update

I got this e-mail that I thought I would share....

Cure Autism Now Celebrates the Senate HELP Committee
Passage of the Combating Autism Act of 2006


On Wednesday, July 19, the 20 members of the Senate HELP Committee unanimously voted to send the Combating Autism Act of 2006 (S.843) to the full Senate for approval. This represents a tremendous victory for the entire autism community, including the many organizations that formed a coalition to advance this legislation. We anticipate the bill will pass the Senate by a “unanimous consent” vote prior to the summer recess, which begins August 4.

With the leadership of our original sponsor, Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) and his staff, and the assembly and involvement of the autism community consensus group, the CAA of 2006 has emerged as a historic $1 billion single-disease authorization bill for autism that serves as an acknowledgment by the United States Senate that autism is a national public health crisis.

The Combating Autism Act of 2006 was originally drafted by Cure Autism Now’s Government Relations representative and Chapter Leader Stuart Spielman, and much of the legislative strategy was planned and implemented by CAN’s lobbying team. The CAA of 2006 began as a reauthorization of the autism section in the Children’s Health Act of 2000, which was also introduced by CAN and became the first landmark piece of autism legislation.

Cure Autism Now would like to thank all members of the HELP Committee for their unprecedented commitment to fulfill the promise of meaningful research, timely intervention and an accelerated path to a cure for autism. In addition to our champion Senator Santorum, our gratitude goes to HELP Committee Chairman Michael Enzi (R-WY) and Ranking Member Edward Kennedy (D-MA), sponsor Christopher Dodd (D-CT), Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) and their tireless staffs for their tremendous effort in crafting the Combating Autism Act of 2006 .

Once the bill passes the Senate, our attention will shift to the House of Representatives where we have 136 co-sponsors to date. Visit www.combatautism.org to find out if your Congressman is a co-sponsor. If not, please contact them while they are in district for the August recess and ask them to co-sponsor the Combating Autism Act of 2006 (H.R. 2421).

Cure Autism Now thanks the many autism organizations in the community that have actively participated in these efforts and we thank our families and friends who have reached out to their legislators to help us combat autism.

Heading Home Early

I am leaving early to meet the cable guy - our digital has been sporadic at best. We use them mostly for the kids educational channel and the On Demand. Actually, On Demand is simply the best thing ever. For a while, they had the Baby Bumblebee videos, which are noted for stimulating language in children with developmental delays. Jimmy loved them. Right now, they have a few children's selections that deal with trips to the aquarium or the zoo. Again, Jimmy's favorite things.

While I am home, in addition to some much needed clean up, I am going to be reading up for my new job and working on some documents for my old one. And so it goes... I am less than a month out from the big change. My excitement is also being joined by a serious case of nerves!

Because Life Can't Be All Autism

One of my great passions in music, particularly the popular variety. The Killers new single was leaked to PerezHilton.com. Check it out... it will likely be up for the next two days - just click the link. It's fantastic!

Daycare Update

Well, we are still there, but I have a copy of Jimmy's IEP with a local competitor. The manager is at her corporate office this week, to see what accomodations can be worked out. I am waiting to hear from her. I would like to move Jimmy, but I am unsure about Jacob. I think he would really miss his friends, but I know both brothers will miss each other if seperated.

Part of me thinks this shouldn't have to be so hard, but I appreciate the thought that the potentially new center is giving it. I think every working parent has daycare problems - mine are fairly specific, but I know so many moms that are frustrated by it. There are tons of possibilities in Manassas, but which one is the right one. Daycare Dilemma - there's something to write about.

I hate daycare

I am completely frustrated by my son's daycare. They are part of a large daycare corporation and both boys have been there for almost two years. We have been pretty happy with them for the most part, though they are not trouble free. There have been several staff turnovers, most notable six center directors But we have weathered them all. Within the last three weeks, Jimmy's teacher, the center director, and the program specialist have made several negative comments about it "might not be the appropriate environment for him." I think it all started coming up after I insisted on potty training. They said no. I contacted the disability coordinator at corporate. She spoke to the center director and assured me it would be done. They have yet to sit him on the pot, according to a note from the teacher.

Today, they called me (I missed the call, but called them back) to say that he was flipping out when he got off the bus, he was running around screaming, taking his clothes off (remember, the diaper rash) and so on. Someone said that he stomped on another child's head, although the center director never said it to me. I picked him up early and spent most of the afternoon crying. The rich irony in all this is he will never have to be in full time, long term daycare after August. He will have full days on my in-service days, but my breaks will be spent with him. All I wanted to do is to make it through August without changing centers. I don't think I have that option now.

I talked to one local center. They made no guarantees, but are considering it, with the advice of their home office. My other option is the center run by the local ARC, for severely disabled children. It isn't much of an option, but if it gets me to September 6th (Jimmy's first day of kindergarten), I will do it. I can't imagine a few weeks there would make him low functioning suddenly. I would just eat myself alive with worry. Oh, and hate myself for the rest of my life. Not that I am not completely full of self loathing now - I am leaving him with a teacher who I really think doesn't like my kid, at a center who's management I don't trust. I don't know what else to do.

I am not a good mother.

Day Blah of the Month of July

Jimmy's rash seems to be getting better. We are doing sits with him on the toilet. Jacob is doing pretty well with it too. It will just take time. I am looking at preschools for Jacob in the fall, in case I try to change Jimmy's situation. It just depends. Things for right now are stable at the daycare, but I want to know there are options.

I might take the boys out after work for haircuts. They need them desperately. Work today is tying up loose ends here and doing paperwork. Blah.

Can't Sleep

We are back from our weekend away at Bayse. Jimmy has the worst case of diaper rash ever. Since he isn't potty trained, he is turning five in diapers. Can't really train someone if they can't ask to go to the bathroom. But this rash is the worst thing I have ever seen. I am airing him out, letting him run around without a diaper. We haven't had any accidents so far, but it seems inevitible. The chafing was so bad, he was walking around bow legged and crying. I would rather be on the carpet with a can of Resolve than hear him cry like that. It just hurts him. I am up, waiting for him to drift off so I can slip a diaper on him. I don't know what else I can do.

Our current daycare center has no interest in trying to schedule train him - it requires 15 minute sits every 60 to 90 minutes. I have to find someone that can, my Jimmy's sake and my own.

Busy Week

I am still reeling from all that has been happening lately. I signed a contract, returned the other, made a deposit for Jimmy's birthday party, writing thank you notes and invitations...

I accepted an offer from Manassas City Schools to be a school librarian. The school is less than two miles from my house and I will have my breaks off with the boys. After all of the drama I have endured about what constitutes an appropriate daycare for Jimmy for the full time breaks, that issue is off the table in the future. I will find part time sessions for him to attend during the longer summer breaks (before and after summer school), but the number of days I will need covered on a full time basis will know be few and far between. I will keep Jacob part time in the summer as well. But I can now take them to the pool in the summers, be freer to travel with them, and just spend more time being a mother to them. I gave up an excellent opportunity at the community college to work with some outstanding people, but I went with what was best for both boys. In the end, I know not worrying so much about them and where they are and what they are doing is what makes me happiest. Plus, this is a great opportunity professionally for me - I would be remiss if I didn't mention that.

Jimmy's birthday party is set up for Burger King on the last Saturday of the month. Lots of adults but a few kids coming this year too. It should be fun. He know the song, he understands birthday party, so I am hoping this will be his most enjoyable birthday yet. Perhaps McDonalds or Chuck E. Cheese would be more glamourous locales for parties, but BK tends to be more quiet and less packed, which is a better scene for Jimmy. He has had a great year and I want to celebrate that. I have gotten some great reports from school on the first two days of the summer session. Apparently, he is following direction much better. Wow, I wish he could do that at home.

Happy July 4th!

What a difference a year makes! Jimmy is no longer terrified of fireworks. For the past two years, we have been able to take him out to watch the 4th of July festivities. This year, he was thrilled by all of it. He was engrossed by the Manassas and Manassas Park displays, visible from our neighborhood, but he was not the least bit put off by the noise of the Whistling Petes from the local stands. Last year, he cried until we brought him in. This year, he cried when it ended. So incredibly different for this kid.

Jimmy's First Teacher

We had a brief visit today with Jimmy's first teacher Bethany. Two of the other moms, who have kept in better touch with her than I have (sadly), invited us over to a small get together. She is living overseas with her husband currently. I had told Jimmy once or twice that we were going to see her, thinking that it was unlikely that he would make the connection. He was initially more curious about the new place than seeing his former teacher again, but by the end of the visit, he said her name a couple of times. He cried for about 20 minutes after we left.

It was wonderful for me to see her as well. She was one of the first people to really give me hope about Jimmy's future. That hope is still somewhat unclear, the future still seems more undetermined for him than most children (not that you can know a lot about someone's future at the age of five, but I can still have hope and think of his future, autism or not. That is Bethany's lasting gift to us both.

I am off to bed. Happy Fourth of July!

Two Job Offers

Yes... when it's official, I will post the details.