I am completely frustrated by my son's daycare. They are part of a large daycare corporation and both boys have been there for almost two years. We have been pretty happy with them for the most part, though they are not trouble free. There have been several staff turnovers, most notable six center directors But we have weathered them all. Within the last three weeks, Jimmy's teacher, the center director, and the program specialist have made several negative comments about it "might not be the appropriate environment for him." I think it all started coming up after I insisted on potty training. They said no. I contacted the disability coordinator at corporate. She spoke to the center director and assured me it would be done. They have yet to sit him on the pot, according to a note from the teacher.
Today, they called me (I missed the call, but called them back) to say that he was flipping out when he got off the bus, he was running around screaming, taking his clothes off (remember, the diaper rash) and so on. Someone said that he stomped on another child's head, although the center director never said it to me. I picked him up early and spent most of the afternoon crying. The rich irony in all this is he will never have to be in full time, long term daycare after August. He will have full days on my in-service days, but my breaks will be spent with him. All I wanted to do is to make it through August without changing centers. I don't think I have that option now.
I talked to one local center. They made no guarantees, but are considering it, with the advice of their home office. My other option is the center run by the local ARC, for severely disabled children. It isn't much of an option, but if it gets me to September 6th (Jimmy's first day of kindergarten), I will do it. I can't imagine a few weeks there would make him low functioning suddenly. I would just eat myself alive with worry. Oh, and hate myself for the rest of my life. Not that I am not completely full of self loathing now - I am leaving him with a teacher who I really think doesn't like my kid, at a center who's management I don't trust. I don't know what else to do.
I am not a good mother.
1 comment:
You're not a bad mom. You a trying to do everything within her power the best way you know how. Voicing, what is going on in your life aides others fighting through similar currents, plus also gives strength to those who sees themselves through your eyes; you really are a blessing and your family are fortunate to have you to weight and make the tough choices, it’s part of what parents most do and you are fulfilling that role actively.
For every tear you spill realize God is there holding you and smiling at you because you are his greatest gift, a mother who loves so deeply. And he chooses you to be Jimmy and Jacob’s mother knowing you will do a great job throughout their life. You have already laid a great foundation. Feel this and let the tears flow. God will always be there to wipe those tears off you cheek and whisper he loves you in his ear. As so do us.
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